Ask North America!
by Valainstima
Summary: The new hit show with your favorite North American countries, America, Canada and Mexico! UsCan. And OC!Mexico. Please review! Ratings may change over time.
1. Episode 1: Introducing North America

Valainistima: Hey guys! Welcome to our show, "Ask North America!" I'm your host, Val, and my co-hosts, America, Canada, and Mexico!

America: *waves his hands enthusiastically* Hey Iggy! Look I'm on TV!

Valainistima: Okay so the point of this show is for you to submit your questions for the North American countries. We answer them and do some fun stuff along with having some special guest stars. But now since we don't have any questions let's get to know our hosts! America you're up!

America: Cool! Well my favorite food is hamburgers and I like to play video games. Oh yeah, and I'm the hero!

Valainistima: Canada?

Canada: Oh, well I'm Canada and, um, my favorite food is pancakes with maple syrup. I have a bear called... um... Kumajiko. I think.

Valainistima: Great! What about you Mexico?

Mexico: Hola! I'm Mexico and I like tacos and burritos!

Valainistima: Me too!

Mexico: Really?

Valainistima: Yep! I also speak Spanish!

Mexico: Fantastico!

Valainistima: Si, es maginfico, no?

America: *whispers to Canada* Hey you know what they're saying?

Canada: *whipsers back* No idea.

Valainistima: Well that's a wrap! Please submit your questions. Requests are also helpful! Bye!

* * *

Grr, it's sooo short! Don't worry it gets longer. Please review*makes puppy dog eyes* I'm making more stories right now even though this is my first one another story is on the way. It will probably be up in a day or so. I plan to update this every week the schedule may change over time depending how many reviews I get. And yes, Mexico is my own personal OC. Mexico is a girl and her name is Mariana. Okay so that's all for today's public service announcement.


	2. Episode 2

Val: Hey guys! Welcome to this week's new episode of Ask North America! We're so excited that we got all the reviews, story alerts and faves! Now to answer some of your questions.

Alfred: This is from Sailor-MSA:

**I have two things to ask. **

**What do each of you think of the other two? And Hi Mexico, what's your fave color?**

Val: Thanks for the questions Sailor-MSA! Now guys what do you think of each other?

Alfred: Well, I love Mattie and Mari like they're my brother and sister.

Mariana: That's because we are your brother and sister, tonto.

Alfred:*glares at Mari* You got a big mouth for someone who always comes over to my house in Arizona and California.

Mariana: Hey I work it off by mowing your lawn and cleaning the house for you when you're not home.

Val: Hey let's not fight what do you think about America and Canada, Mariana?

Mariana: Well me and Matthew don't really talk all that much to each other but when we do hang out we have a good time. Alfred can be the biggest idiota at times but he's still my big brother.

Val: Ha ha I totally understand, heck I live in America! What about you Mattie?

Alfred: I totally know what he's gunna say!

Matthew: Y-you do?

Alfred: Yep! You're gunna say that your awesome big bro America is way better than dumb Mexico and that he's the best brother a guy could have! Oh yeah and say that I'm the hero of course.

Matthew: Um... well I-

Mariana: WHAT! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE SAYING STUFF LIKE THAT?

Alfred: America, duh.

Mariana: Well I bet that Matthew's going to say that I'm his favorite!

Alfred: What? Are you kidding me? Mattie's been my brother the longest.

Mariana: What does that have to do with it? You know what, let's have Matthew decide.

Alfred: Yeah, so whose it gunna be Mattie?

Matthew: W-well I mean I have known Alfred longer but Mexico actually remembers me. But Alfred's always been there when I needed him. And well... I-I don't know.

Val: Aww see what you did guys you made Matthew all moe.

Matthew:*sulking and giving off moe aura*

Val: *takes picture* He's so cute!*hugs Mattie* Feel better?

Matthew: *sniffle* Y-yes.

Val: Okay Mexico what's your fave color?

Mariana: Red. It's the color of passion.

Val: Cool mine too! Okay Mariana you can read the next review.

Mariana: Okay, this is from Yokolite:

**Alright here are my questions!**

**Canada: do you ever get sick and tired of being mistaken for America and no**  
**lying or evading!**

**America: what was the civil war like? Were you just bipolar or was there**  
**another country?**

**Mexico: well...since I don't know much about you...what's your relationship**  
**with the other countries of the world?**  
Val: Well Canada?

Matthew: Well, it does get annoying sometimes because no one but Francis, Alfred and Mari really remember me. And it's like gaining my independence was a waste of time when I might as well have just became America's 51 state or something. But I guess I can live with it.

Alfred: I'm sorry Mattie. I didn't know.

Matthew: Whatever.

Val: *whispers to Mariana* What's with him?

Mariana: *shrugs*

Val: Umm... okay then. America your next.

Alfred: Well, I don't really remember what happened exactly during the civil war. I mean I remember fighting but I could never tell which side I was on.

Val: Interesting. Mari?

Mariana: My relationship with Spain is still kinda rocky but it's improving and I stay at Alfred's house sometimes so I guess we're cool. But I don't hang out with anyone else except Puerto Rico and Cuba.

Val: Cool! Mattie your turn.

Matthew: Okay. cross-over-lover232 says:

**OK America i have four things to ask you, and I sent you a low fat vegan**  
**burger!**

**1)do you ever regret what you did to Kiku?**

**2)what do you think of killing Hiroshima and Nagasaki with those two bombs?**

**3)do you ever regret what you did to your brother in 1812?**

**4)did you ever understand that Arthur only taxed you because of the fact he had**  
**just come out of a war to protect you from Spain?**

**OK Matthew your turn and i send pancakes and maple syrup**

**1)did you ever do anything to Alfred when you were little cause he was a**  
**spoiled brat?**

**2)do YOU ever regret what happened in 1812?**

**3)are the rumors of you and Gilbert true?**

**4)did you do anything cool after you lay the smack down on unhero America**  
**after the winter games?**

**ok Mexico i send you yummy tacos!**

**1)do you regret leaving Spain?**

**2)what is the recipe for fried ice cream?**

**3)do you and California get together for fun times and laugh at other stupid**  
**nations?**

Val: Wow thanks for all the questions! America, what do you have to say?

Alfred: Well, Kiku kinda deserved what he got when he bombed Pearl Harbor. And yes I do regret having to fight with Mattie, and yes I knew but Arthur was being such a jerk about it I didn't want to hang out with him anymore. So I left.

Val: Thanks Al! Here's your hamburger!

Alfred: Thanks!

Val: Okay, Canada you're up!

Matthew: Okay. Well I never really did anything to Al but I there was that one time I made him cry but that was it. I kinda do but if I did join forces with Al back then I wouldn't have what do now so I guess it was worth it. And Gilbert? I never heard any rumors about him and me.

Mariana: The rumor that you guys are dating.

Matthew and Alfred: WHAT?(Alfred yelling, Mattie whimpering)

Alfred:*holds Mattie protectively* What sick person would say such things? Mattie's too innocent to be with that jerk it's not like he really cares about him like I do. All he does is come in ask for pancakes and then leaves. He doesn't even save some for me OR Mattie.*hugs Mattie tighter* No one can really care about my baby bro like I do.

Matthew: You mean that Al?

Alfred: Of course I do. I love you Mattie.

Val:*calls Hungary* Elizabetha? Yeah it's me Val. Get over here now! We have some serious yoai going on!

Elizabetha:*skids into the room with a camera* Where's the yoai?

Val: *points to Canada and America* There.

Elizabetha: Got it!

(insert UsCan here)

Val: Um Matthew. You have to answer the last question. But you don't have really stop.

Matthew: Oh! Sorry. What was the question?

Val: Did you do anything cool after Alfred lost the game at the Winter Games last year?

Matthew:*blushes* Well let's just leave it at" It wasn't really that much of a loss for him."

America: He he, Not much of a loss at all.

Elizabetha: *tries to cover nosebleed* Um, I got to go. Bye Val!

Val: Bye!

Mariana: I completely saw this coming.

Val: Okay Matthew here are your pancakes. Mariana your turn.

Mariana: Well even though he wasn't the nicest person to me I do in a way regret leaving. I'm still in debate from that war. And the recipe of fried ice cream is not allowed to be told. At least not in public. Me and Cali are good friends and yes we do laugh at how stupid others can be.\

Val; Great! Here are your tacos! Okay the last few questions from criminally-insane-girl are this:

** Alfred, Mattie, Mari- hey, salut, and hola! I love all of you guys! 'specially the North American brothers-no offense, Mariana! Alfred- what does the "F" in your name stand for? I've always wondered. Mattie- Which province are you from, Alberta, British Columbia, or Quebec? What's your favorite holiday? And who's your favorite nation that's not you? And why can you never remember your bear's name? Is it some sort of revenge for him never remembering yours? Or can you honestly not remember the name of your pet? Oh, and my friend was wondering- is maple syrup the *ahem, sorry 'bout this* "jizz" of Canada? Mari- What's your favorite style of Latin American dance? Your favorite holiday? And flower? What's your favorite color? What's your favorite thing to wear?**

Val: Thanks for the questions! Alfred?

Alfred: The "F" in my name stands for, well... Fitzgerald. I know its lame so don't tease me about it okay.

Matthew: I think it's cute.

Alfred: Thanks Mattie.

Val:*Snaps picture* cute indeed. Mattie your turn.

Mathew: Well, I'm not really FROM any province but they are a part of me. My favorite holiday is Canadian Thanksgiving. And my favorite nation i-

Alfred:*clears throat and raises hand*

Matthew: Well, I guess that answers that question and I don't really remember my bear's name because I sincerely can't remember. And no maple syrup is not the...jizz of Canada.

Alfred: I would know.

Matthew: Alfred!

America: What?

Val: Um... okay then. Mari?

Mariana: My favorite Latin dance is the Rumba. My favorite holiday is Mexican Independence Day. My national flower is the Humble Dahlia. My favorite color is read and my favorite thing to wear are sombrero. Seriously it gets really sunny out and you need some protection from the sun.

Val: Great! Thankies for the questions! That's all for this week on Ask North America! Bye!

* * *

I am SOOOO sorry I'm late! I've been really busy with school and stuff so I was a little preoccupied. And I'm sorry I didn't get to all of your questions. But now I have come up with a system. The first four couple of questions I get will be the ones that get answered. Oh, and I'm sorry for crushing PruCan under UsCan's size 11 Timberlands, but I don't like PruCan so it had to be done. Thankies for all the faves, Story alerts, and reviews! See you next time! 


	3. Episode 3

I an soooo sorry I didn't update when I said I would. Please forgive me.*on hands and knees*

* * *

Val: Hey! Welcome to our third installment of 'Ask North America!' Let's get started! Canada's got the first question.

Matthew: Okay then, evemiliana says :

**Hi! OMG! Canada! Uhh, do you allow guest stars? If you do, then can my OC Nicaragua be one? Her name is Luisa Rodriguez. DON'T get her started on the 1800's (America tried to make Nicaragua a territory... numerous times). Anyway, Which one's older, Canada, or America? **

**Nicaragua: Yeah, we've been wondering that. **

**Me: Technically, Luisa has 6 other siblings...**

**Nicaragua: Ellos son Belize, El Salvador, Honduras, Costa Rica, y Panama.**

**Me: Nicaragua speaks Spanish too!**

Val: Of course we allow guest stars! We'll phone Nicaragua right after the show!

Alfred: Great...

Matthew: As for your question, technically we don't know whose older so we just go by being twins. But I'm pretty sure Al's older.

Val: Okay great! Next question.

Mariana: Well this is from Vismur:

**Canadá, usa-kun y Meco-chan *alucinando***

**Interesante, entonces tengo unas preguntillas.**

**Preguntas omg**

**Para Canadá:**

**- ¿Exactamente como le haces para no tener tanto frio en invierno?**

**- ¿Que representan tus lentes?**

**- ¿Francia no era muy pervertido contigo? ¿No te metía mano? ¿No te robo besos, caricias?**

**- ¿Como le hiciste para estar en el G-8, si eres muy tranquilo? (ToT aconseja a México)**

**Para Estados Unidos:**

**- ¿Que parte del cuerpo es el gran cañón?**

**- ¿ Por qué le tienes miedo a las películas de hace siglos que no asustan ni a un gato?**

**- ¿ Por qué Rusia y tu se pelearon tan feo? No me digas la diferencia ideológica que no me la voy a creer.**

**- ¿Te casarías conmigo?**

**Para México**

**Para ti nada, yo soy Mexicana, así que se supone que debería saber todo de ti, =_=, aunque…**

**- ¿Te gusto algún humano románticamente?**

**Para los tres**

**- Si Cuba en el mapa también es norteamericano, ¿Por qué no sale aquí?**

**Saludos y se cuidan hey**

**Sayo.**

**P.D. Valainistima. Hazlos sufrir ñacañaca**

Alfred: I'm sorry, what?

Mariana: What's wrong?

Alfred: Oh how do I put this, _joe no hables espanola._

Mariana: Alfred the correct term is _yo no hablo espanol._

Alfred: Well then I guess that proves that I don't speak it!

Matthew: *faceplam* Alfred please.

Alfred: Fine.

Val: Mari, I think we should translate for our solely English speaking viewers.

Alfred: And America!

Mari:*glares at Alfred* Okay Val.

_Translation_

_Canada, USA-kun, and Mexico-chan. Interesting, I have a few questions for you._

_Questions OMG_

_For Canada: Exactly what do you do to not be so cold in the winter?_

_ What part of your country dot your glasses represent?_

_ Is France a pervert to you? Does he grope you? Steal a kiss now and then?_

_ How do you stay so calm during G-8 meeting?_

_For America: What part of your body is the Grand Canyon?_

_ Why are you so afraid of scary movies? Centuries ago you weren't such a scaredy cat._

_ Why do you and Russia fight so violently? And don't tell me ideological differences because I won't believe you._

_For Mexico: For you, nothing. I'm Mexican so I suppose I know everything about you. Okay one thing... Do you like romantic men?_

_For all of you: Why isn't Cuba here? He's part of North America too._

_Good bye and be careful, _

_Sayo_

_P.S. Val make them suffer nacanaca._

Val: *laughs evilly* Will do my friend.

Alfred: What does nacanaca mean?

Mariana: You don't need to know.

Val: Okay on with the questions.

Matthew: Usually I just buy a heavier coat and some winter boots but that's it. It doesn't get that cold. And I'm kinda used to it. I don't know what they represent actually. I think only Alfred's glasses represent something. No, France is not a pervert to me. Geez he's my dad. And I don't know why I'm always so clam it's just the way I am.

Alfred: *wraps arms around Matthew* And I love you that way.

Matthew:*blushes* Thank you Alfred. I love you too.

Val: *snaps photo* That one is going in the scrap book.

Alfred: What?

Val: Nothing.

Alfred: ...Okaaaaay. Um... questions yeah. Hehe I don't think you need to hear what the Grand Canyon is, so let's just say it's my mouth. And no I ain't fraid' a movies they just surprise me as all. I fight with Russia cuz' I hate that commie bastard. And that's really the only reason.

Val: Well then Mari you have a question.

Mariana; Oh yeah. *blushes heavily* Yes, kinda.

Val; And as for your last question because of America and Cuba's past "disagreements" they are not permitted to be near each other. Also Cuba declined because he's feeling a bit under the weather.

So on with questions this is from One who wishes to be answered:

**Hey, Mexico-chan! Sorry for the lack of Spanish, but I know only English and some French... Okay, so how do you feel about Ameri-chan? What about the gulf spill you both suffered from? Did you guys get sick with all that gunk along your coasts? Okay, next up is Ameri-chan! I'm a citizen of yours, you know! One very serious question: are you proud to be the birthplace of the great chocolate-chip cookie? Next up is... Um... Oh, yeah! Canada! So, have people paid more attention to you since the Olympics? Also... I just want you to know that your so called "bacon" (and I use the term loosely) is a disgrace to all bacon. American bacon is much yummier!**

Val: Oh and I'm very sorry that we didn't answer you sooner, Any who on with the questions! Mariana?

Mariana: Like I've said before me and Alfred are like brother and sister. But he's really annoying and punching him deems necessary at times.

Alfred: Hey!

Mariana: _Callate._ I did get a little sick after the gulf spill and Alfred did too but it wasn't that bad.

Val: Okay Alfred?

Alfred: Of course I'm proud of being the home to the chocolate chip cookie! And McDonalds. You can never ever forget McDonalds.

Val: Nope McDonalds is a must. Mattie?

Matthew: Well a few people did but they just went back to ignoring me afterwards. And as for the bacon thing. I...really don't know what to say about that. I guess I'm not a cut out for handling pork as Alfred is.

Alfred: Aww, aren't you sweet.

Okay and the last question is from .

**Just one question aimed at the north America bros, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YAOI?**

**Now one for Mexico-san; How do you like being put on the show.**

Val: Um...well then. Alfred, Matthew how do you respond?

Alfred: Question. What the heck is yoai?

Val: It's Japanese for boy love.

Alfred: *blush* Oh...well I guess I like yoai.

Matthew:*tries to hide behind Kumajiro* I do too. I guess.

Mariana: *snaps photo* I am sooo selling this to Hungary.

Val: NOOO SELL IT TO MEEE!

*gets weird looks from the audience*

Val: Um...yeah. Mariana you have the last question.

Mariana: Oh yeah. I like being put on the show mainly because no one really bothers with Mexico. I mean I have good tourist attractions but that's really it.

Val: Okay that concludes today's show! Please review!

* * *

Backstage

Matthew walked up shyly to Alfred and gently tapped his shoulder.

"Um.. Alfred" He said softly.

Alfred turned around, donut in hand, and smiled at his brother/boyfriend.

"Yes, love?" He said quietly so only Matthew could hear, while brushing a strand of hair away from his soft looking face.

"D-did you really mean what you said back there. About loving me just the way I am?"

Alfred was a bit taken aback at this question. Did Mattie not believe him when he said he loved him?

"Of course I meant it." He said, pulling Matthew close." I will always love you for every reason good or bad." He declared with a kiss to Matthew's forehead. Knowing full well this sort of action made Matthew blush heavily.

"Oh okay then." Matthew replied with a smile. "In that case I love you too."

Alfred smiled brightly."Good." He said with a nod. "Wait. What do you mean by 'in that case.'" He asked puzzled.

Matthew giggled."That's for me to know and you to find out." Ending his brief sentence with a passionate kiss.

* * *

The end was really just for me. And other UsCan fangirls/boys out there. Sorry if you don't like the pairing. Also Nicaragua WILL be next episode's guest star. So come up with some questions for her too!


	4. Episode 4: Guest Star! Nicaragua!

Val: Hey guys, and welcome back to a new episode of your favorite show, Ask North America! We also have a little surprise of all of you! Come on out Nicaragua!

Luisa: Hey everybody! I'm really happy to be here!

Val: Just so ever one know' Nicaragua is an OC of _evemiliana_. **I DONT OWN. **Her name is Luisa Rodriguez.

Luisa: Hey evemiliana!

Val: Okay so Luisa, we have some questions for you.

Luisa: Um, sure.

Alfred: -rape face- Would you like to become one with America?

Matthew: -looks America up and down- Alfred.

Alfred:-snaps out of it- Huh, what just happened?

Matthew: I don't know but you better not do it again. -grumbles silently to himself- Cheat on me you get attacked by polar bears that's what's gunna happen, eh.

Alfred: What was that?

Matthew: Oh nothing dear.

Val ,Mariana & Luisa: ...-sweat drop-whispers to each other- Never ever hit on Alfred when dating Matthew. NEVER.

Luisa: -panicked- Um...no thank you America.

Alfred: What are- you know what whatever.

Val: -whispers to Mari- Is he going emo today?

Mari:-Whispers beck- I think he notices how angry Matthew is. Must be a twin thing.

Val: _Pero ellos no son gemelos._

Mari: Then I don't know what it is.

Val: Um...okay Matthew your question.

Matthew: -turns to glare at Luisa- Would you go out with someone who's already doting someone?

Luisa: -stands up- WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM YOU MAPLE BASTARD? A SLUT?

Matthew:-Gets in her face- Maybe.

Val, Mari, & Alfred: ...Oh shit.

Matthew: You know what you're not even worth the time of day.

Luisa: OH HELL NO YOU DID NO-

Panama: Hey guys!

Everyone: WTF Panama?

Panama: -runs up to glomp Alfred- AMERI-

Matthew: -stops her with his fist- Don't even think about it. Don't even DREAM about. This*points to Alfred* is MY man. Go find your own you little skank.

Val: Holy crap.

Mariana: Should we stop him?

Val: I think so, at least enough that we can answer some questions. Alfred!

Alfred: -amazed at the spectacle before him- Yeah Val?

Val: I have a very important mission for you that only a hero like you can complete. Stop. Your. Boyfriend. 'kay?

Alfred: The hero is on it! -walks up to Matthew- Uh...Mattie, babe?

Matthew: -stops yelling and turns around- Yes?

Val: -calls up Elizabetha- Eliza I sense major yaoi fluff about to happen, come over with a camcorder.

-Elizabetha runs in- Yaoi? Where?

Val: -points to America and Canada- There.

-Elizabetha begins taping them- Thank you.

Val: No prob.

Alfred: -wraps his arms around Matthew- Mattie, hun, you don't have to do all this.

Matthew: B-but they...and you...I didn't want...I'm sorry.-looks down all moe-

Alfred: -picks up his head- It's okay. Just remember that I love you, and only you.

Matthew: -nods- Okay.

Alfred: -smiles- Good.

Val: -whispers so that only the UsCan fangirls/boys in the audience can hear- Go UsCan!

Val: Um...well we still have some questions to answer so can everyone sit down ?

-Everyone sits-

Val: Okay the first few questions are from _i wrote this song for you_

**CANADA! Hi I have a question for you.**

**WHY, MY GOOD SIR, ARE YOU SO CUTE? SERIOUSLY!**

**that is all.**

**Oh and say hi to the others.**

**~~~Cat**

Matthew: -blushes- Well...um...

Alfred: -pulls him onto his lap- I think he's so cute because he's all mine.

Mathew-blush- Well then I think that answers your question.

Val: -turns to Eliza- Hey you getting all this?

Elizabetha: Yep.

Val: Okay Mari your turn

Mariana: Okay then. This is from _Vismur_

**I am a woman...**

**This time I translated. But tell Mexico that my brother is interested. **

**Incestuous brothers. I love .**

**Alfred. Would you have a child with me?**

**bye.**

Matthew: No. He will not.

Alfred: It's okay babe. I wouldn't say yes anyway.

Matthew: You better not.

Val: Hey Mari, I think she just set you up with her brother.

Mariana: I think so too. I might go out with him. But it depends, is he hot?

Val: Haha Okay then the last few questions are from _evemiliana_

**Nicaragua's so excited right now! Oh, and Nicaragua forgot to mention Guatemala. But that is mostly because Guatemala has a stick up her ass. Oh, and someone might sneak in with Nicaragua, and that is Panama. **

**Nicaragua: YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST LEFT HER ALONE IN THE 1900'S ALFRED! SHE'S PRETTY MUCH IN LOVE WITH YOU NOW! Oh, and I fully support America and Canada. Anyone who disagrees shall feel the wrath of me kicking their ass.**

**me: Luisa, calm down. Geez, Lovino did not do you much justice with your cursing issue when you were younger, huh?**

**Nicaragua: He's the reason I HAVE a cursing issue!**

**me: Anyway, here's my questions. America, first of all, I'm an American citizen. Second, why the hell did you embargo Nicaragua in the 1980's?**

**Nicaragua: I can answer that. I turned Sandanista (which was communist) against my will and got help from Russia and Cuba, who is my cousin. NEVER WORKING WITH RUSSIA AGAIN! DUDE FREAKS ME OUT Nica nica.**

**me: O-kay... just answer that anyway, America. Canada, what's up with all this PruCan crap I see everywhere? It sickens me and I just don't see it happening. You and Alfred though, go for it! I'm a USCan fan. And Mariana, do you like anyone. **

**Nicaragua: Belize has 2 dads, which are England and Spain. THE HORRIBLE IMAGES! And Belize is the only one who can't cook.**

**me: WHY would you tell them that?**

**Nicaragua: I dunno, why is my boss an ass*? You answer me that. **

***Nicaragua is talking about her boss Daniel Ortega, who really is an ass and a horrible leader. Oh, and Nicaragua is no longer communist, she is now a democracy and very happy about it :D**

Matthew: -gets up and walks out the room-

Alfred: Mattie where are you going?

Matthew: -comes back in with a hockey stick pointed at Panama- If you ever even look at him I will destroy you. I will hang your head on a plaque next to my hockey tournament trophies. Do you understand? -says in a sweet voice-

Panama: Y-Yes.

Alfred:-walks up to Matthew slowly- Mattie put the hockey stick down.

Matthew: Fine -lowers hockey stick-

Val: Um...okay then...Luisa would you like to do the honors of wrapping this episode up?

Luisa: Sure! That's all for today's episode! Please review!

* * *

Translations: **Pero ellos no son gemelos. **_But they're not twins.

* * *

_ Okay I'm soooo sorry for not getting this out sooner but I've been having writer's block on another story and I've managed to neglect this story. -gasp- Possessive Matthew? Oui! I had a little too much fun writing him like that. But just remember, Alfred is HIS MAN. And you will get attacked by hokey sticks and an army of polar bears if the statement is challenged. Please Review!


	5. Episode 5

Val: Hey guys! It's episode 5 of Ask North America! And we're looking forward to answering your questions! Mariana could you take the first few?

Mariana: Sure. This is from _evemiliana_

**YAY! Nicaragua's all happy. Oh, and Canada, Nicaragua's not interested in your boyfriend. Actually *mischievous face* she had a crush on you in the 1700's.**

**Nicaragua: WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU TELL THEM THAT?**

**me: I dun no.**

**Nicaragua:*goes in hiding***

**me: eh, she'll be fine.**

**Panama: Hi!**

**me: Panama, why do you have a bruise that looks like you got hit by a hockey stick.**

**Panama:...I flirted with America again...**

**me: *angry face* YOU WHAT? *takes out hockey stick***

**Panama: but, evemiliana, you're not Canadian.**

**me: I play hockey. That's why I have a hockey stick.**

**Okay, now that that's outta my system *camera turns to Panama beaten up* Here's my questions.**

**America- why did you pull a "become one with America" when you saw Nicaragua?**

**Canada-I would ask why you were so possessive, but I'm just gonna skip that. So, once again, WHAT'S WITH ALL THE PRUCAN CRAP?**

**Marianna- you still didn't answer my last question...**

**well, Now I have to go see if I might have killed Nicaragua from my earlier statement... and El Salvador and Belize say hi. They're dating, but they're also brothers. Well, half- brothers since Belize has both Spain and England as a dad. Wait, would that make you guys and him... HALF-SIBLINGS?**

***dramatic organ plays***

**sorry, just had to put that.**

Mariana: -whispers to her self- dang it. Uh.. I'm really sorry I forgot to answer your question. Ummm...the answer is well no one right now really -blushing-

Alfred: Ohhh she's lying!

Mariana: SHUT UP ALFRED OR I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL-

Matthew: -holding chainsaw with rape face- You'll what?

Mariana: N-o-othing.

Matthew: Good. -puts chainsaw away-

Val: Um...okay then. Alfred?

Alfred: Um...I don't know what you're talking about 'asking Luisa to become one with America' all I remember is blacking out for a sec.

Matthew: As for your question about this absurd rumor about me and Gilbert. I think it's from when he sang that song "My Song That Is Written By Me, For Me" and said that he loved pancakes with maple syrup. But I sincerely don't understand how that could insinuate a me having a relationship with him in a more than friends way.

Alfred: -hugs Matthew-That German asshole, trying to make people think he's dating my cute little boyfriend.

Matthew: -blush-

Val: -snaps picture- Hey Al you wanna do the next few questions?

Alfred: Huh? Oh yeah sure. This is from _cross-over-lover232_

**::Carefully places speaker above ground and ducks under a bomb shelter for**

**protection and press play on machine::ok normally I would ask this above ground**

**but last chapter Mattie was way too scary for me to ask this face to face,**

**so I have chosen to put myself in an underground bunker with three years**

**worth of food and water with whiskers my kitty and my big brothers lap top:**

**Alfred will you be my grande fere? the one I have is in high school while I'm**

**in elementary school and all he does when I ask to spend time with him is throw**

**his hockey stuff at me! a puck knocked my tooth loose so could I be your**

**little sister and be able to ask you for advice?**

Alfred: Sure thing!-looks at Matthew- Oh wait, um...Mattie is that okay?

Matthew: What? All she asked was to be your little sister not your wife.

Alfred: Oh okay then.

Val: Uh...okay then these questions are from _alexrocksdude_

**lol Canada has been hanging out with Russia a lot.**

**Anyway, I have questions.**

**1. America, have you and England ever been a couple**

**, have you ever been with Prussia?**

**3. America, do want Canada to have your kids?**

**4. Canada, do you hate Arthur?**

**5. Canada, do you hang out with Russia a lot?**

**Thanks for answering!**

Matthew: No for the last time I have never, nor will I ever, be a couple with Prussia. He's a nice guy but dear God he's annoying.

Val: -gets up- Hey! I may love you and your country Canada, but that doesn't mean you can so freely insult the Great and Majestically Awesome Prussia! I'll let it slide for now but you better watch your mouth. -sits back down-

Mari, Alfred & Matthew: ...wtf?

Matthew: Um... back to what I was saying. No I don't hate Arthur. We're actually still on good terms even though he forgets me every so often. And I don't hang out with Russia. Not even a little. He freaks me out.

Alfred: And no I didn't go out with England. What is wrong with you people. He's like my mom. And... I didn't know I could have ids with another nation. -look of utter shock and realization- Oh my God, Matthew, did we ever use protection?

Matthew: No I don't think so but it's okay we can't even ha-

Alfred: -pulls Matthew out the room- We need to go get a pregnancy test!

Val: He can't really be...you know? Can he?

Mariana: Not really. I actually don't know I haven't been around long enough to. But now that I think about it he could cuz' I'm pretty sure Arthur and Francis were...how say, _having relations_ a couple of months before Alfred or Matthew were born.

Val: Huh, I guess Francis and Arthur really ARE Alfred and Mattie's Mom and Dad. Interesting. Actually that would explain why Matthew was so over protective of Alfred!

Mariana: Yeah. Wait don't we still have to answer some more questions?

Val: -faceplam- Oh yeah! Dang it we gunna have to cut tonight's episode short. But stay tuned next time! Help us find Alfred and Mattie in the next episode of Ask North America!

* * *

-Le gasp- What's this? An unfinished episode? Two missing co-hosts? And a presumably prego Canada? Stay tuned to find out what happens!


End file.
